I am woman, hear me roar….or scream if there are cockroaches, mice or rats involved. Yep…that is man’s work and I just, can’t. even. And, this is why I will stay married so my man can flush the roaches, set the traps then consequently take them to the trash. (chills)

I don’t care what you think. I am over trying to please people, fit in to fashion trends, and keeping up with the Jones’. I know what I like, who I like, what I value and how  that contributes to my self-image.

When I look at my awesome four pack of abs, biceps and tight little buns in pictures from 2013, I’ve accepted that I will never look like that again.

I LOVE my friends. They celebrate with me. They pray for me. They lament with me. They validate my feelings. And, they feed me. And, drink beer with me. And, really…what more do you need?

I LOVE my parents. I may be 40 but my mom still takes care of me when I’m sick….and helps me put a bra on when my arm is broken and I can’t clasp it myself. And, when there’s a little groping…well, it’s mom so, whatever!

I ain’t got time for toxic relationships and childish behavior (and if my dad reads this he will cringe at the use of the word ain’t)! My life is too busy to be filled with people who bring me down and bring poisonous, infecting attitudes in my life. So…’bye Felicia!

I need to wear a diaper. Well…only when I laugh, sneeze, cough, jump, step off a ladder, run, skip, play a sport, ride a horse, drive over a speed bump, on the drop in the Guardians of the Galaxy ride…ok, so pretty much always. It’s super sexy. Just ask my husband.

My business will only be as successful as the time I’m willing to put into it…so, only just moderately successful. I don’t have the time or desire to bust my butt day in and day out to shoot for a million dollars. I’m ok with making enough to support my paint habit and put my kids in music lessons and sports activities. So, you get 100% of me when I’m in the shop and…like -20% when I’m not here. Because, when I’m not working, I’m doing what really matters in the long run by being home with my family.

My crew is The. BEST. The very BEST. When I am operating at -20%, they pick up all the slack and keep this place afloat…more than afloat, but crankin’ at full capacity. I may get the glory, but they do all the work! All the work, people! Tell them thank-you!!!

I LOVE my team…so if you are rude, unkind, disrespectful or downright mean to them, you’re out. There is no “the customer is always right” in this place. If you can’t show a modicum of kindness, respect or understanding, we don’t want your business. Move along.

If I was easily embarrassed, I’d be embarrassed all day long (note life lesson #7). So, my fly is down. It’s probably because my pants are too tight to begin with (note life lesson #3). I can laugh at myself as successfully as I can laugh at you! So, there’s that.

My mid-life crisis has less to do with having a big house, nice car or fancy clothes and more about not having a melt down if I am forced to be out past 8 pm, 7:30 pm, 7:00 pm.

And, finally all I need in my life are my people (and Christ…but obviously, that). My Jerry, my babies, my sisters, their husbands, my niece and nephews (including the newest addition this week), my God-babies, my besties, my mom crew, my sports crew, my favorite neighbors and best customers. 40 years of people in my life…their support, friendship, challenges…it’s enough to bring me to tears to think of the richness of life because of relationships! It just doesn’t get any better than that!