I can guarantee that I will have more activity in my brain the middle of the night than anytime during the day. Do you know, more blog posts get written in my head at 2 am than during normal business hours? These “blog posts” rarely make it from my head to my computer, but they’re in there; percolating; simmering; waiting to be expressed or more likely forgotten. I wish I had my own little bed side Pensieve to filter my thoughts. You do know what a Pensieve is, right? From Harry Potter. Ok….we can’t be friends if you aren’t versed in Harry Potter to understand my references.
Just in case you don’t know your Harry Potter trivia, a Pensieve is a tool to capture and store memories until you are ready to go back to those memories; to relive them or reference them. Dumbledore says it best when stating, “I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind…. At these times… I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one’s mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one’s leisure.”
My head is just that; a jumble of thoughts crowding my brain with different topics, worries, thoughts; vying for attention.
Allow me to deviate from my normal blog posts about home decor projects, before and after furniture pieces or workshop photos. I’m giving you access to my crazy thoughts and mindful ramblings (seeing as how I don’t have my own Pensieve to store them). A view into what goes on in this little head of mine…and yes…it is little. Both my girls (6 and 9) can share my hats.
So, I’ve written about our 5-year knot too shabby-versary. We just passed the date earlier this month and are planning a big celebration in the fall. When I opened the store in 2011, it was going to be a three to five year venture. As a side note, I’m a big planner. If we go on a road trip, I plan bathroom stops. We book hotels exactly 8 hours from our departure time. We have an organized menu and/or budget for eating. Spontaneity? What’s that? There’s no room for spontaneous adventures with me in tow. Type A personalities out there….you get me! I know you do! So, you see how deviating from my original plan of owning a retail business for no more than five years is causing me some anxiety? THAT WASN’T PART OF THE PLAN!
BUT…I’m getting better at this spontaneity thing. Heck, just the other day we decided to go on a hike WITH NO PRE-PLANNING INVOLVED. That’s progress. In my old age (not really…I’m still the youngest by a solid two years of my group of friends…so there ladies!)… I’m finding relief in letting expectations go. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sordid planner, but I can go with the flow so much easier than I used to. And, I’m able to look inside myself, submit to prayer and be okay with deviating from the plan. To change the plan. To change direction.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about small business, you have to have a plan, but you also have to be willing to modify that plan and shift focus and direction. While everything inside of me wants to recoil at the thought of my well-laid plans not coming to fruition (or outright changing), the more rational side of my brain (at 2 in the morning) says calm the heck down! We’ll cross that road (or is it a bridge?) when we get to it.
Anyway, the thoughts swimming around my head in the middle of the night most recently were heading down a dangerous direction of second guessing and questioning my more recent business plans. What gives me total anxiety and panic in the middle of the night seems totally silly by day. Then again, creaky floorboards and loud wind have a different meaning in the middle of the night that mid-day…so, I’m not a total freak. Anyway (again), my thoughts were questioning our new direction to limit furniture and home decor items at knot too shabby GLENDORA. MORE STUFF, MORE STUFF, MORE STUFF…you can’t have a retail location without STUFF TO SELL…says my insomniatic (is that a word?) brain. Then the rational side screams back….STUFF ISN’T SELLING LIKE IT USED TO. Every blasted workshop is SOLD OUT and we don’t have room for people. MORE SPACE, MORE SPACE, MORE SPACE. BUT, PEOPLE CAN’T WALK IN AND BUY SPACE. THEY NEED TO BUY STUFF. But, we can’t book big parties without space. BUT, THE SPACE WON’T LOOK PRETTY WITHOUT STUFF. Touche middle of the night, tired brain (Are you following this mad, internal dialogue).
And so it goes. These awesome internal arguments lead to GREAT discussion with my team! I don’t have to figure it all out on my own. We can compromise on the stuff vs. space issue and create a solid plan….cuz you better believe that there will be a solid plan involved; a new three to five year plan… to include the RIGHT kind of stuff to support the space created for expanded workshops and private parties. OH YEAH! That four hours of lost sleep wasn’t a total loss…TAKE THAT INSOMNIA!
So, I guess I don’t really need a Pensieve because I can just argue with myself in the middle of the night and then have my team help resolve the issues. I wonder if they know they are grossly underpaid therapists? As far as plans go…well, I had a great three to five year plan! We’re still here so something worked. I don’t HAVE to go anywhere even if I wasn’t PLANNING on staying around this long.
Here’s to well-laid plans, the ability for change and time well spent during insomnia!